I want to share with you one of the most important decision in my life. And it is actually wearing a niqab. A lot of people does not understand how could I chose it voluntary. Some people still think till now that someone forced me or my religion forced me to this. I would like to explain you the reason why I wear it and what niqab means for me.
How did my story begin?
I already mentioned several times in my posts that I grew up in the middle of Europe as absolutely normal girl with my family. My family does not believe in God, they are atheist and so I was also. Since I was baby I dressed very normal-sporty way as every citizen in America or Europe does. My hair was also free without covering. No one in my life ever tell me to cover my body neither my hair.
As I told I was very normal girl wearing jeans, t-shirts, dresses, hot clothes, bikini and as a every girl I loved jewelry so much and specially to show it up. But few situations and opinions I really did not like and I disagreed with it.
The first thing can be a “fashion”. There is nothing wrong with fashion indeed but the way how the girls understand it – It is totally wrong. You know it is like competition between girls who will have the best cloth and the best make up and the best body etc. And a lot of girls from this is really frustrated and I saw a many cases when the girl fall into depression and she ended in hospital because of it. For good luck, this was not my case because to be honest I never cared too much about fashion but I cannot afford this society pushing on the girls to be perfect.
The second thing what I do not like is how the boys look at girls and compare them. Honestly it feels the girls are just some goods in a shop and the boys just choose the best one from the looking or it makes me feel like I am just piece of food. You know, the boys just looking at you and speaking impolite way about you and if you are not ,,perfect,, as the society image says, no one will ever care about you. But surely they will notice you and they will make a hell from your life. This happens specially to a girls who are overweight. And imagine when the girls are growing up and are in teenage age and someone will mock at them so its going to burn their life. On other side I know that the biggest weakness for all the boys around the world is a women. It is something in their blood and in their nature so actually I see it as a the girl`s mistake to show up her body so easy that anyone can see it so then if she is not “perfect” and will collapse of the words of others so they should blame a her not the boys.
The Third thing which I totally condemn is non wanted touching, kissing etc. and raping a girls.Or to make any kind of violence on a girls. Lets be little bit honest, I know that the fashion in our modern world is to say that “Muslim girls are slaves and they are like in prison and just used to sexual games etc” but how many cases we have in Europe? Almost on every second girl is made any kind of violence starts from unknown boys, fathers, brothers, husbands … we have even kids which are sexual raped. Honestly you cannot even compare with a Muslim world. I do not say all Muslims are angels but I will explain you later. My point is if the girls are walking almost naked and no one teach the boys have a respect to the girls so do not be surprised that such a cases are happening. And this is only the start of the bad things…
I think these 3 points are enough to show you why I disagree with our modern society and now lets look on the Muslim point.
Why do I wear a Niqab?
I want to share a story with you how I firstly get in touch with a niqab. I was 6 years old and I was in Zoo with my mum. And there I saw one Arabic man with 4 wives. And all the wives were in niqab. Of course as a little kid it took all my attention on them. I was staring on them for a couple of minutes. Just the eyes of the women amazed me so much, I could not recognize if they are sad or happy and I was highly curious who they are and why they are covered. I really desired to know it so much. So I asked my mum about them and respond of my mum was – “these women has no rights, no freedom, they are in prison. And she compared their clothes to ours”. She told me ,, look how lucky we are that we wear a shorts and t-shirts and we do not feel hot in summer,,. Well I do not remember if I believed my mum or not but this memory stayed with me forever.
Anyway I always loved to think very much and have my own opinion on everything. And when I was a teenager I wanted to be compared by my character and my thoughts specially from boys and not to be compared by my looking. But this I found in my life in Europe simply impossible. Not only in case with a boys but also in school or job interview – it really did not matter how clever or polite I was, mostly they cared just about the looking. If I was enough sexy and was able to play a games on people or be impolite I could get so much money and everything I wanted. But I really did not want this for my own life.
Then I converted to Islam even I did not know all information about our religion yet but then I found that Islam gives all the respect for the women and I really found a happiness in it. You know, when I became Muslim I did not wear niqab neither hijab but I took my time to search for information and to see the truth and give myself the time to decide.
When I came to Egypt it was actually my first time to dress a hijab (scarf on a hair). And imagine what happened, I saw a lot of Egyptian girls on the street wearing the same tight clothes as in Europe but only they put extra hijab and I found them much more beautiful then the European girls. And I became really very confused because when the girls is not naked but she is covered by tight clothes it is actually much more attractive for the boys. Then I started to be depressed from the hijab also – I did not see so big change really. At the street I also saw a lot of woman in niqab and one thing really amazed me on them. And it was that no man talk to them, no one try to touch them, no one even look at them. When I saw this I was somehow sure in my heart that its what I was searching about all my life. But I was very scared of dressing niqab. Because if you dress niqab you should not take it off again. So I could not decide. All the bad words what I used to hear since I was kid and now I see something else so to who should I believe ???? But then I took the decision and I dressed niqab and imagine when I made the decision the miracle came to me. My first day in niqab was amazing. It was like some magic really – I found a freedom in niqab, I was extremely happy. No boy bothered me anymore, and even girls has a big respect to me,if I ask for help anyone would help me immediately and if I want to help someone mostly all people will trust me that I come with good attention. And a lot of people also think that girl in niqab is very educated in Islam and she has good character.
What is the point of Niqab?
As a last thing I will speak about the point of niqab. Why we cover our bodies and faces? Look every girl has a personal and specific reason why she wears a niqab but the common thing are those:
Belong to only One MAN .Why a lot of boys should look at me? As a girl one day I am gonna marry for sure. Does not matter if you are in Arabic country or in Europe, at the end you will marry just one man. and I want to be beautiful only for this one man and also I want only this one man look at me.
Protecting myself. As I mentioned before if you are covered and fully hided so you are like a diamond. No one will abuse you, touch you or do something bad on you. No man will look at you with sexual desire. I will give you example with a lollipop. If you have non covered lollipop on the street so after while you will find a lot of insect on it but if you have covered one would the insect come and sit on it??? This is very similar with a niqab – it work the same way because the girls are really as a sweets for the boys.
Respect. I will speak about a groom now. if any man will go ask for a girl in niqab so surely he goes ask for her because he heard about her good character and manners. So such a man will not compare her by her face or body but he will compare only on her heart. It is really amazing that a man who never see her face is able to go ask for a marriage. And also if he does not see your face so on what he will focus?? Of course on your words, on the things what you are saying, on your dreams and on your wishes – is not this a respect which every woman desire for? How many women in Europe complain that the man does not listen her or does not take her seriously?! Just think about it….Secondly the respect is even from other women. If they see a girl in niqab they also will focus with the words and character and only on this basic they will judge the girl.
God. The most important point but it can be confusing for a lot of people. All my previous talking is connected to this one point. It is connected to God. Islam simply wants you to be a polite in any cases. And why people are polite? Because they are afraid of punishemnt from God and also because they hope in reward from God. People think if they do something good for other people so God will reward them for it. And this is the biggest passion to be good. If you do not believe in God so then why you should be good or polite to other people? You are not afraid of anything so it can seem you can do anything you want on the earth.
A girl who decide to wear a niqab for sure she does so even for a God. Such a girl should be very polite not only on public places, control her desires and be connected with a God by hear heart really strongly. She believes more than any other girl in rewards for her politeness. And If the girl does not have strong believe in God she will never dress niqab or she will fail in it and take it off sooner or later.
I would like to finish here because it is kind a lot of information what I gave you, so please think about it. At the end I really do not judge anyone I have friends Muslims, unbelievers and Christians and all is fine for me. I try to respect everyone. This what I wrote is only my conviction.
But let me finish by this sentence.
To all girls around the world:
“If you want to became a Muslim or dress a niqab it should be really only your own decision. No one should force you even it is your husband. And definitely do not become Muslim only because you fall in love with some Muslim man. The religion is really very personal thing and you should decide only by your own and your heart. If you decide so for someone the religion will not last forever with you but if you decide just for yourself so nothing will take you away from the way which you chose for yourself.”